Emotions How ADHD Adults Can Recognize, Feel, & Manage Them
Topic: ADHD and Emotions. Beyond suppression or puking them out on others to avoid feeling them. Learn how to recognize, feel and manage them. See the other Adult ADHD Issues.
Facilitator: Pete Quily
Thanks to Barbara for taking notes.
November 7th 2016 Meeting Notes for the Vancouver Adult ADD Support Group
Warm Up.
What are a few lessons you’ve learned in how to recognize, feel and manage your emotions in a healthy way? Share them with the person next to you.
Why do ADDer’s often have more problems with emotions than Non-ADDers?
Blunt/rude
Catastrophizing
Cognitive distortion
Co-morbid disorders, depression, anxiety, learning disabilities
Cycle: flash anger/ guilt/shame
High reactivity
Higher frustration levels
Higher rates of (flash) anger
Misdiagnosed/ undiagnosed
Misunderstood
More sensitive
Not able to control thoughts
Passive aggressiveness
Poor life regulation/self care (eg sleep/diet/exercise )
Problem filtering
Problems regulating emotion due to brain chemistry
Years of guilting and shaming contribute to low self esteem
How can you get better at recognizing your emotions at their early stages?
It’s far, far easier to deal with anger at the irritation level than the rage level.
It’s important to remember ADHD does not just effect your thinking but your emotions too. See this video and the slides of The importance of emotions in understanding and managing ADHD by ADHD researcher of researchers, Dr Russell Barkley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzhL-FA2v10
ADHD medications can be helpful
Do a body scan
Enlist friends to give you feedback about your behaviour
Learn about Nonviolent Communication
Make time for breaks (nonelectronic breaks) to calm your nervous system down (get off the hamster wheel), or make time for burnout.
Meditate or practice mindfulness
Notice boredom early (then get curious: what do I need to do/stop doing?)
Notice your body (mindfulness) without judging
Notice your breathing
Own your anger ( you are responsible for your emotions no one make you angry)
Own your feelings vs denying or minimizing them
Self calming
Use Journaling
How can you get better at feeling your emotions fully?
Acknowledge your normal wide range of human emotions (not just ‘fine’)
Allow yourself to feel it ( it’s OK to feel the emotion)
Develop your emotional vocabulary (eg through NVC)
Know it will pass
Label emotion without judging it
Learn more about specific emotions e.g sadness, anger, guilt ( what do other people say about it)
Learn to develop your somatic (bodily) awareness by practicing things like Yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Feldenkrais, Alexander technique, etc
Relate to the feeling as OK. Feelings are just feeling. What you do with them is your choice, the more you can accept, feel and process your feeling the healthier you will be
Use movie therapy
How can you get better at managing emotions more skillfully:
Deflect (ask questions)
Exercise
Feel, wait, respond
Find balance between alonetime and socializing
Find friends that you can talk to ( and listen to)
Know when you are triggered and hyperemotional
Own your emotions. “You made me angry!” Nope. YOU are responsible for your emotions, don’t blame others, short of them physically attacking you
Practice loving kindness meditation, towards yourself first, then others
Put things in perspective
Recognize ‘triggers’ and learn techniques to respond skillfully
Remove yourself from the situation ( take a time out)
Schedule breaks so you built in calmness buffers vs work till you’re exausted and more easily triggered with less reserves of awareness and self control to deal with emotions.
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